Confidence is something nearly all of us want more of. Even the most confident people have times or areas in their lives where they lack self-confidence.
So what is confidence? Some may think of confidence as a state of certainty; others think of confidence as a belief in one’s ability to succeed. For others confidence is knowing that they are good at something, relates to having a skill. Yet, we come across many people with amazing public speaking skills, tennis skills or musical talent that don’t feel confident at all when they perform. In the same way that we meet people who look and act very confident at karaoke night even though they can’t sing. So confidence is not ability. Someone can be completely unskilful yet still be confident.
Confidence is not something you have. Confidence requires action, it is something you do. Confidence is a skill that is learned and that requires practice in order to master it.
Here are some effective actions that you can take to help you build your self-confidence:
- Start by ‘giving it a go’ – This attitude sets the motion so that you can start preparing. Inaction breeds doubt and fear, while action breeds confidence and courage.
- Prepare – Learn all you need to know about the subject matter.
- Change your story – Listen to your story. Is it an empowering one or is it a story about why you can’t do this or that? I think almost every problem we experience can be traced back to the stories we tell ourselves. There may be a good reason for these stories, but in the end they produce bad outcomes.It comes down to this: Change your story, change your life.
- Command your mind by commanding your body – Your body language can instantly demonstrate self-assuredness, or it can scream insecurity. Present yourself in a way that says you are ready to master or take command of any situation. Hold your head high, sit up straight, gently bring your shoulders back to align your spine and look directly at the other person when interacting. Avoid a limp handshake and maintain good eye contact while someone is speaking to you.
- Act as If – Step into the role as if it is your reality. Act, dress, think, breathe as if you already had the skill. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but very soon you will get used to it. Acting as if gives you a better understanding of what you need to do to become that future self. By acting as if, you are also changing your thinking. The new you, won’t have the negative thinking, so acting as if is helping you leave the negative thinking pattern behind and moving you forward in the direction of your goal.
Do it yourself:
Each morning of this week, stand in a high power pose for two minutes. Close your eyes become aware of your breathing and be grateful for what you have and send out love and gratitude to those around you. Two minutes of power posing and gratitude practice can rewire your brain so that you start feeling better throughout your day.